For 12 Days of Christmas, these ugly sweaters were given to me…
The Beard almost saves it…
The Beard almost saves it…
We’re surveying our wine drinking readers to find out what types of wine are most preferred. Fill up a glass, fill out our form, then check out the results page.
While you may have dreamt of constructing a fully-functional Robocop suit to wear this Halloween, it now appears that your elaborate costume may never come to fruition. Many of us tend to delude ourselves with visions of Halloween grandeur in the springtime, only to procrastinate right up until the last week of October. Well, fear not tricksters, as I’ve got some wonderful last-minute costume ideas which will surely make you the talk of the town come All Hallows’ Eve!
This one is easy. Really, you can wear whichever clothes you’d normally wear. When dressing as a GTA V character, however, it’s all about the execution. When you leave the house on Halloween, it’s imperative you commit as many heinous crimes as possible without actually getting arrested. Need some ideas? Steal a car and drive it into a store-front window. THEN, steal another car, and drive it into another store-front window. After this, find a bat, and senselessly destroy a vending machine and a mail box. When you’re through with this task, steal another car, and drive it into another store-front window. Sense a theme here?
Even though the iPhone 5s was just released, new plans for the iPhone 6 have leaked today. Due to the vulnerabilities already found in the thumb print scanner, Apple has taken new steps to ensure the owner is the only person to ever be able to unlock their phone.
A source close to the iPhone Security Development Team confirmed they have been experimenting with new features for the past year; everything ranging from retina scans to blood tests. Ultimately, DNA test was selected as being the best compromise between speed and security. Starting with the next generation of iPhone, users will need to put a dime’s worth of saliva (roughly 0.25 fl oz) on the new “Spittle Recess” to run a full DNA analysis. Industry analysts are quick to point out potential misreads due to presence of mucus and phlegm, challenging apple to delve into “anti-loogie” technologies, potentially delaying the release until Q4 2014.
The idea was spurred by the advancements in personal DNA analysis. Apple’s engineers have decreased the time to perform a full initial analysis to less than 30 minutes; but to confirm a match only takes 0.30 seconds thanks to advancements in machine learning and big data (Patent number 4,608,967).
Throughout the course of history, man has witnessed a great number of legendary battles. There was Waterloo in Belgium which ended Napoleon’s Hundred Days’ War once and for all, as well the Battle of Lexington and Concord which represented the very start of the American Revolution. I’d be remiss if I didn’t also mention Hulk Hogan’s herculean victory over Andre the Giant back in the mid-eighties at Wrestlemania III.
Anyway, while human eyes have actually set their gaze on each of the aforementioned bouts, there are some battles we’re forced to fantasize over. Due to a series of promotional conflicts, there’s a high likelihood we’ll never get to spend 65 dollars to watch Manny Pacquiáo fight Floyd Mayweather Jr. on Pay-Per-View television. Due to entirely separate reasons, there’s a good chance that we’ll never witness a full-scale battle between a colony of fire ants and a colony of termites. A shame, isn’t it?
In the last 25 years, only 4 actors have played the role of Batman on the big screen: Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, and Christian “Grumbles” Bale. Now, a new acting giant is slated to ruin the image of the comic book favorite.
Coming down from the high of the award winning blockbuster Argo, Ben Affleck is setting his sights on Gotham for 2015’s Man of Steel sequel “Superman vs. Batman”. Yes, the guy from Gigli – which got 2.4/10 stars on IMDB.com – is going toe-to-toe with Superman (I can only assume it’s because Affleck was so great in Daredevil…?).
Mashable.com recently published a post called “15 Suggestions for a Better Batman Than Ben Affleck”. Fifteen seems like a generously low number, and as much as I’d love to make fun of Affleck a lot, here’s the thing: it could be worse. Here are 10 actors that would probably make a worse Batman than Mr. Affleck.
This past weekend Pacific Rim stormed through theaters, raking in cash, delighting critics and potentially becoming the first ORIGINAL box office smash of the summer. If you have a twitter account, you were probably also assaulted by terrible jokes and spoilers concerning a certain SyFy original movie regarding marine biological meteorology. It seems that pop culture had a proclivity for destructive forces this week, with a touch of the absurd.
But which force is MORE destructive? The Sharknado, or the Jaeger? Nature and sinew vs. science and steel?
At H5E, this justifiably struck us as the most important part of our workday. Debates raged, insults were thrown; and after the first unpaid intern got bloodied, we decided to settle this with a thought experiment. Following in the footsteps of Reddit’s epic presidential knife fight, H5E imagined the Monsters vs. Robots, All-Universe Battle Royale.
Resurrecting some of the greatest names in movies, video games, and mythology, the rumble to end ‘em all was designed to answer this debate, though we quickly found new issues arise.
There was nothing more exciting for kids growing up in the late 80’s and early 90’s than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Originally starting as a comic book series in the mid 80’s, they expanded to a half hour cartoon series a few years later. With awesome fighting scenes, corny jokes, and fun stories, kids quickly fell in love with the Turtles. Along with the TV series, there were action figures, video games, t-shirts, backpacks, pillow cases, and just about anything else that could fit the face of one of the Turtles on it. The Turtle explosion continued with a live action movie in 1990, and even a “Coming Out of Their Shells” US tour that same year.
Turtle mania began cooling off by the mid 90’s though, as the younger generation got older. Fortunately, the power of nostalgia has always kept the Turtles around in some form. There was a new cartoon series in 2003, and a new CGI movie in 2007, which were both fairly well received by fans and critics. In recent years, there has been a new comic book series by IDW Publishing, and yet another cartoon series that began last year on Nickelodeon. Sadly though, keeping the Turtles around doesn’t always yield positive results, as is the case with the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie scheduled to come out next year.
Rumors about a new movie began circulating around the internet a few years ago. It was originally thought that it would be a continuation of “TMNT” from 2007, which was left wide open for a sequel. Many fans became skeptical though when the word “reboot” began floating around. And, their concerns became even greater when Michael Bay’s name was thrown into the mix. Bay’s movies are huge money makers, as evidenced by the blockbuster Transformers movie series that he directed. Despite this, he continues to anger many fans with his over the top special effects and butchering of storylines. Visions of high speed Turtle van chases with exploding missiles flying overhead began dancing through the heads of worried fans. Although Bay won’t be directing Turtles, he’ll be the Executive Producer, so he’s still heavily involved.